Hate Your Mother & Father: How the Jedi Help Us Understand Jesus' Hard Teaching

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In my senior year of high school I had a big conversion in faith. I suddenly had an unquenchable thirst to know everything I could about God. With the help of my grandfather I began to dive into the intricacies of scripture and pray every day. I was learning about God as Love (1 John 4:8) and the depth of his love for me. But it wasn't long before I realized the stories in the Bible were not as straight forward as I remembered them to be in Sunday School. Being an everyday disciple of Jesus was going to be hard.

As I scoured gospels I was finding myself more and more confused by what Jesus was teaching. One passage in particular I grappled with for many years and did not full understand until recently: "If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:26). 

To say I was confounded was an understatement. How could God, Eternal Love, be asking me to hate my parents, my sister, and my family? Doesn't that contradict the 4th Commandment to honor thy mother and father? After all, Jesus was obedient to his parents ( Luke2:51) and doesn't St. John say anyone who hates his brother is a murderer (1 John 3:15)? I could not wrap my head around what Jesus was saying. It seemed to contradict everything I had been learning about God. 

The Life of a Jedi

To understand what Jesus is saying here let's turn to the teachings of the Jedi. Jedi Padawans are brought to the Jedi Temple to begin their training in the Jedi arts from a very early age. Many of them have no memory of their parents or their family. They are taught and groomed to be servants of the Force for the greater good of civilization. Understanding the Force to be their guide, the Jedi are to give themselves over to the will of the Force and let go of any attachments that may hinder their abilities to be extensions of the Force itself.  

Many Jedi, such as Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi, seem to accomplish this with ease; however, there are some who consistently struggle to let go of attachments, the most notable being Anakin Skywalker. While the life of a Jedi is not easy there are several Jedi who fully embody what a Jedi is supposed to become.  To help us understand Jesus' teaching on hating our mother and father I want to focus on one such Jedi: Ezra Bridger. 

Ezra Bridger's Journey to Becoming a Jedi Knight

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******MAJOR SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS: REBELS******

Ezra Bridger one of the main characters in the Star Wars: Rebels TV show, has a very similar character arc as Luke Skywalker in the Original Trilogy. We first meet Ezra on his home planet of Lothal where he's gained a reputation as a thief and a menace to the imperial Stormtroopers who patrol Capital City. Ezra soon encounters the Phoenix Squadron, a rag tag group of rebels who specialize in stealth and demolition missions against the Galactic Empire. After Ezra displays Force sensitive abilities he is taken under the wing of Kanan Jarrus, a Jedi Knight who survived the Jedi Purge of Order 66 during the Clone Wars. As Kanan's apprentice we witness Ezra transform from a selfish street thief to a full fledged self sacrificing Jedi Knight but it is not without difficulty.

Throughout Rebels we witness Ezra struggle to grasp the Jedi Code and learn to harness his force abilities. He's hot headed and quick tempered. On more than one occasion Ezra's anger puts himself and his friends in grave danger. But it is in the final arc of the series when Ezra comes to fully understand the Jedi Code and the cost that comes with it. The catalyst for Ezra's end journey begins with the death of his Master Kanan who sacrificed himself to allow Ezra and company to escape an imperial compound. Witnessing the death of his master has a devastating but profound impact on Ezra. At first he feels lost without the guidance of Kanan. The doubts and fears that plagued Ezra early on in the series begin to resurface; however, with the window of opportunity to expel the Empire from Lothal closing Ezra must weather the storm and press on in his fight despite his feelings of hopelessness.

Later while exploring a hidden room in the Jedi temple on Lothal Ezra enters through the Veil of the Force, a room outside of time where one can access any point in time through time portals. Ezra quickly realizes he has the ability to pull Kanan through the portal just moments before he dies but doing so would send ripples throughout the Force that would altar the timeline forever. It is here when Ezra realizes the final lesson Kanan had to teach him: being a Jedi means sacrificing one's desires and even one's life for the sake of others. Realizing that saving Kanan would diminish his sacrifice, Ezra makes the difficult decision to leave the Veil untouched. Thus, a reinvigorated Ezra Bridger emerges from the Jedi temple as a fully fledged Jedi Knight ready to lead the Rebels in one final assault against the Imperial occupation of Lothal.

However, Ezra's plan is quickly thwarted by the strategic genius of Grand Admiral Thrawn who gives Ezra an ultimatum: surrender himself to Thrawn on his ship or witness the destruction of the Lothalian people. With little choice Ezra gives himself up to Thrwan who then turns him over Emperor Palpatine. Here Ezra faces his greatest temptation. Emperor Palpatine opens the Veil of the Force and shows Ezra he can go back to a different time to be with his parents before they were killed by the Empire. Ezra's greatest desire is to be with his parents again but he realizes that in taking the Emperor's offer he would lose the friendships he forged in the Rebellion, including his Master Kanan, thus erasing all the victories Ezra helped the Rebellion win over the Empire. With tears in his eyes Ezra confesses his love for his parents and destroys the portal forever sealing his chance to see his parents again while escaping the Emperor in the process.

Now free to face Thrawn head on, Ezra calls upon his unique force ability to connect with animals. He reaches out in the force to call upon the Purrgil, a whale-like creature with the ability to travel through hyperspace, that help him capture Thrawn. Despite knowing the devastation Thrawn can inflict on the Rebellion Ezra spares Thrawn's life. As his friends plead with him to get off Thrawn's ship Ezra declares he must follow through with his plan. With the Purrgil, Ezra sends himself and Thrawn hurtling through hyperspace banishing both of them to the Unknown Regions, trusting his friends to defeat the Empire without him.

Although Ezra's choice to leave his parents behind is similar to Anakin leaving his mother in The Phantom Menace to become a Jedi, there is a key difference between Ezra's journey and Anakin's journey. The difference being Anakin looked back. Ultimately, Anakin's downfall was his inability to let go of everything he feared to lose. Even though he left his mother to become a Jedi he still longed to see her again. He was never truly satisfied with the life of a Jedi. His double life as a husband to Padme and a Jedi Knight bound to serve the Force free of attachment emotionally tore him apart. He never could make the necessary sacrifices to fully follow the Jedi teachings and inevitably became a villain.  Ezra on the other hand fully embraced the sacrifices of the Jedi way and became a hero.

God As Our One True Love

Ezra's journey shows us that we are all called to something greater than ourselves. Ezra was called to serve the Force as a Jedi Knight; we are called to serve God as disciples of Jesus Christ. Ezra grows into a Jedi Knight and watching him choose the Rebellion over Kanan and his parents was heartbreaking but it helped me to understand what Jesus means by "If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:26). 

If we were to keep reading from Luke's account of this teaching in the very next verse Jesus goes on to say, "and whoever does not carry their cross  and follow me cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:27). He even further concludes this teaching by saying, "those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:33).  

We even see Jesus highlight this earlier in Luke's Gospel when two men approach Jesus, pledge to follow him but with some hesitation. One asks Jesus to "let me go and bury my father first" and the other asks to "first let me go back and say goodbye to my family. Jesus bluntly replies, "let the dead bury their dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God" and "no one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the Kingdom of God" (Luke 9:57-62).  

It seems pretty harsh, doesn't it? Jesus is really dissing the family here, isn't he? Not necessarily. Firstly, we are led to assume the first man's father has already died; however, the narrative does not state this. It is more likely that the first man's father is still alive; what he actually is saying to Jesus is "I'll follow you once my parents pass away because only then will I have nothing to keep me from following you." Secondly, we are led to assume the second man's family means his immediate family; however, again, the narrative does not state this. The Jewish family culture was close-knit and quite large, gathering at the Temple every year for their annual pilgrimage. It is more likely this second man is asking to say good-bye to his entire family which he won't see until the next pilgrimage.  Both men pledge to follow Jesus in their own time, which may be years down the road. Jesus very plainly tells both men, "the time is now to be my disciple; the Kingdom of God will not wait for you." 

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The Cost of Discipleship 

Jesus is clear: the cost of being his disciple is steep. It means sacrificing the comfort and ease of our familiar life in order to go where he is calling us. Just as Ezra sacrifices his deepest desire to be with his parents again so we too must sacrifice all of our desires that do not further the Kingdom of God. Even if these desires are intrinsically good, like wanting to go to a particular college or be a starting player on the football team, if they are contrary to God's calling in our lives we must learn to let them go. 

This is not easy and seems to go against the commandment to love our neighbor. Just how Ezra's attachment to his family and friends many times conflicts with the interests of The Force, often times our own attachments conflict with the will of God, even our family ties. St. Paul discusses this when he talks about marriage in 1 Corinthians: 

"An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided." (1 Corinthians 7:32-34).

St. Paul is not diminishing the Sacrament of Marriage or the role of the family in any way; he spends the latter half of Ephesians chapter 5 discussing how the married couple sanctify one another before God (Ephesians 5:22-33). Nor his he stating that we are to abandon our familiar roles and neglect the needs of our family members in order to serve God. He is merely stating that an unmarried man or woman more freely attends to the interests of spreading the Word of God throughout the world since they are not bound to the anxieties of providing for a family. 

Likewise, The Catechism of the Catholic Church recognizes that "family ties are important but not obsolete" (CCC2232). It goes on to remind us that we are called first and foremost to follow Jesus Christ as his disciples and that all Christian's belong primarily to God's family since it is our Divine Family that is eternal, not our earthly family. 

Furthermore, Jesus is saying that family, although given to us through the love of God, should never be put before our love and duty to God. Jesus does not use the word "hate" to mean we neglect and abandon our parents or become disobedient to them; he uses the word "hate" to mean "love less than." We are to love our parents less than God to the point that our love for God is so incredible that in comparison of our love for our parents can be interpreted as hate. Jesus says those who love their parents, wife, or children more than he are not worthy of him (Matthew 10:37) and cannot be his disciples. 

The Joy of Discipleship

It's a frightening experience to venture out from our comfort zone and it's often very difficult but since when has anything worth doing been easy. My high school theater teacher would always say "if acting was easy everyone would do it." It's the same with following Jesus. If it were easy everyone would be his disciple, but when we begin to follow Christ the reward of discipleship is beyond price. 

At the end of Star Wars Rebels we see Ezra fully embrace the Jedi Code by choosing to let go of all his desires, fears, and anxieties in order to save his friends, his home planet, and even the galaxy. It was not a decision he makes lightly but he is at peace with his decision. He knows the survival of his friends is vital to helping the Rebellion defeat the Empire and realizes this is of greater importance than his own desires. This is exactly what Christ is asking of us: to follow him without looking back at what could have been but looking forward to what will be when we enter into the Kingdom of God free all wants because God will be all that we desire.